This is The King's Werewolf Face

The Story of Funny Faces

I only saw my father cry twice.

He was crippled up with Progressive Supra-Nuclear Palsy both times. The worst kind of Parkinsonism you can get. That wasn’t why he was crying though. Muhammed Ali’s neurologist said my father’s PSP had two features worse than just regular PSP. Most people with that severe PSP don’t survive for more than a year. My Dad lasted eight.

He could take that. The first time he really cried was when his best friend’s son died in a plane crash. He cried so hard. He was so upset it really startled me. It made me think of how much more he would cry if I had died. That is when I knew, really knew that my father loved me.

The second time I saw him really break down was about two months after September 11, 2001. He had read a story in a magazine about a little girl whose father died in the towers. She said she would never see his funny face again.

When I spoke about all this in his eulogy after he died in 2003, I told about how much my Dad loved to make Funny Faces with his kids. It was his favorite thing to do. The last thing I said was that he was the “The King of Funny Faces.”

Sometime around 2008, I realized this:  

The King is Dead! Long live the King of Funny Faces!

The Prince of Funny Faces Was On Double Dare

Philadelphia, PA - January 11, 1987

Fast forward to 21:07 to see the future King!

Thank you Reddit!

9/11/11

I was with my father 10 years ago today. I was getting ready for work upstairs when I saw the towers begin to fall. I ran down crazily to tell him "The twin towers are collapsing." He couldn't believe it until I turned on the TV and there they were. He told me to go to work. I worked in Secaucus, New Jersey, just across the river. My shift started at 11 am. Many of my co-workers watched the second plane hit from their window. I never made it to work, though. The roads were closed. I went to a Blood Bank to see if I could donate blood, but the line was already 40 or 50 people long, so I decided just to go to a car dealership and get some work that needed to be done on my car since I had the day off. I sat in the waiting room watching the news by myself for a long time.

A few weeks later, I remember walking in on my dad. He was crying terribly. I learned that he had just read a story in a magazine or something about a little girl who was never going to see "daddy's funny faces" again. I mentioned this as part of his story at my father's memorial service. It is the origin of the phrase "The King of Funny Faces".

Protect The Territory of Funny Faces!

Happy Birthday Grandma Anderson!

The First Queen of Funny Faces was Born in Montana on December 22, 1917!

"Marion Anderson (1917-2001) was an amazing woman, full of grace and she laughed at all my jokes. I think she was the first person to recognize I was remotely funny. G" 

-Geraldine Laybourne

Media Executive

Nickelodeon/Oxygen Media

A Mix Fit For A King

For those few historic occasions when relaxing on the throne is actually possible.

Rubber Duckie, you're the one!

You make wartime so much fun!

Quakt!

Special thanks: Laura Mulvey

The Double Dare Story - 1/11/1987

My father grew up with Geraldine Bond Laybourne, who was the President/CEO of Nickelodeon Television in the 1980's. When I was eleven years old and my brother was eight, she sent us tickets to see a taping of Double Dare. Somehow, my mother got us a day off of school and she drove us down to Philadelphia to see this:







I shouted out "Harvey!" at the top of my lungs. This picture doesn't capture it, but he was annoyed! Harvey was the announcer of the show, very much beloved by me and by many kids of my generation.



And here is the host of the show, Marc Summers. Years later, he was in the news talking about having OCD, and I often wondered if this story had something to do with it. Did it make him worse? Was he trying to repress this memory as much I had tried to? I don't know. But Marc Summers  was the host of Double Dare, one of the biggest kids game shows of all time.



It was a kid's dream come true! Before the big obstacle course event at the end of one of the episodes (we saw four being taped), Marc goes into the audience and talks to some of the excited kids in the audience. He picked me! I was so excited!



But then things got ugly...

Of all the questions that the host of the most popular kids game show in America could ask me, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. He slipped. He made a mistake. But the damage was done...



I was a weird kid in the 80's. These were the days of "Nerds" and "Geeks" and "Dweebs" and John Landis movies. I was teased more than most, I fear. Of all the questions in the world he could ask me, why did he ask me if I had a boyfriend? I asked myself that question many times over the years. And I never really talked to anyone about being on everyone's favorite show, at least not until several years had separated me from the pain and humiliation.

I'm not homophobic now. I wasn't homophobic then. This has nothing to do with homophobia. I was just pissed that Marc Summers gave all of the 'popular kids' in school a reason to tease me. Yeah, it had a lot to do with pride and ego, but hey...I was eleven years old. Forgive me, please.

Well that's another amazing story from the life of the current King of Funny Faces.

Have a great weekend everybody.

Warm Regards,

Erik B. Anderson
Independence Township, New Jersey, USA
Established 1782

UPDATE:

Lines

"They have lines, right here, down their face. For some reason, people with Asperger's seem to look like me and have bags under their eyes. Like, they have this look on their face, like, you know, "fuck this", and that's how I look. That's the normal look...most people with Asperger's seem to have that look. That tired, been thinking too much, not getting enough sleep look."
-Linus, the Swedish Chef:



Who died and made me King?

This guy:

Anonymous Prank Caller - July 2009

"Man, so long as he remains free, has no more constant and agonizing anxiety than find as quickly as possible someone to worship." -Fyodor Dostoevsky

CT Scan of the King's Funny Face

Funnier than the Insane Clown Posse

Reason for Exam
Migraine Induced Blindness

Report
CT SCAN OF THE BRAIN WITHOUT CONTRAST

CLINICAL HISTORY:  Change in mental status.

EXAMINATION:
CT scan of the head was obtained without IV contrast from the skull base to the vertex on on 07/-0/2010 with prior MRI from 12/11/2001 available for comparison.


FINDINGS:

The lateral ventricles are slightly prominent, but these are stable in appearance comparable to technique compared to the prior examination. There is no evidence of midline shift. The gray-white matter differentiation is within normal limits. There is no evidence of inracranial hemmorhage or space-occupying lesion. The visualized paranasal sinuses and mastoid air cells are unremarkable.

IMPRESSION:
Unremarkable CT scan of the head.


If symptoms persist, a follow-up high field (closed) MRI examination of the brain with diffusion imaging coud be obtained for better evaluaion.


*****Final*****

Symptoms did not persist. I was rocking out to my friends Lumins at the Philipsburg Gothfest wearing my bright green Jamaican James T-shirt four hours later.

X-Rays of the King's Funny Face

Gaze Upon the Interior of the King of Funny Face's Funny Face

Study Date: February 06, 2010 20:20


Final Report - CR XR Mandible Complete Minimum 4 Views

MANDIBLE:

CLINICAL HISTORY: Crashed bike.

FINDINGS: Eight views are provided. There is no lucency or cortical deformity to suggest acute fracture process. The alignment appears normal. There is symmetric appearance to the temporomandibular joints. The adjacent regional visualized osseous structures show no acute changes. No air-fluid levels are seen in the maxillary sinuses.

IMPRESSION: No evidence for displaced fracture of the mandible.

         

Write to the King of Funny Faces

There are two addresses here:



Hate mail goes to the address on the left. No bullets, please.

Fan mail goes to the one in the middle.

Warm Regards,

Erik B. Anderson
The King of Funny Faces
Independence Township, New Jersey
Established 1782

Erik B. Anderson: Early Childhood

Erik B. Anderson
by Mary Wilkin (Grandma)

The first child of Kay and Bruce Anderson, the first grandchild of Marion Anderson and Mary Wilkin, Erik was born prematurely on June 9, 1975 in Morristown Memorial Hospital. The excitement of his birth turned to anxiety as Kay had a convulsion in the hospital and was diagnosed as having toxemia. No one knows what cause this condition but the baby must be delivered immediately. A Caesarian operation was performed and the 5 lb. 4 oz. boy was put in an incubator. He was only 3 weeks early. His mother, however, was kept highly sedated with only her husband being allowed to see her. He was only 3 weeks early. His mother, however, was kept highly sedated with only her husband being allowed to see her. After a couple of days Kay was allowed to see her baby but not to hold him. We later learned that this was because they thought she might have another seizure and drop the child. Her dream of nursing the baby was denied, but the family of 3 eventually returned to their home at Quakerchurch Rd. in Randolph, N.J. with a healthy, thriving son.




Erik was the joy of the family. Round face, big brown eyes and chubby, rosy cheeks make him a delight to look at or hold. He was content in his swing or on the floor on the bright quilt his Aunt Joan (Wilkin) had made for him. Both Grandmas visited often and took frequent pictures of his various stages of development. Baby-sitting was their pleasure.

Erik sat up alone at 8 months, walked alone at 15 months. His first method of walking was his monster stride. He would put both arms straight out in front of him for balance and cross a room. In his high chair he would pick up Cheerios one by one from the tray while waiting for the rest of the meal. When the food arrived, he stuffed his face putting more in his mouth before he had swallowed the first bite. Kay frequently said "Manners don't count until you're 3."

Climbing out of the crib or playpen was a trick he learned from another toddler in Vermont where the family had visited in August '77. Skipping naps began about the same time at 2 years and 2 months. A month later on a long car trip to Cape Cod, Erik could identify most letters on a sign. When one was pointed out to him he would say, "That's an S or that's a C." While the car was stopped at one crossroad he said, "That's S-T-O-P --- Pots." Indoors adults would point to letters in the headlines and he would name each letter. Once his Daddy pointed to a quotation mark. Erik looked at the beginning and end quotes and said, "That's two sixes and two nines."

At home Erik knew how to turn on the radio for Grandma when she couldn't figure it out. He almost locked Grandma out of the car when she was scraping snow off the windows and he was inside pushing buttons. His first set of blocks he threw but he soon learned to build towers and knock them down. When no blocks were available at a time instead of knocking them down. After learning to make choo-choo trains of blocks Erik made choo-choos of any three items he encountered on a table or the floor.

In November 1977, Erik showed his imagination in a restaurant when he took a drinking straw and held it like a pencil and said, "I'm writing." Next he put the straw across his upper lip and said, "It's a mustache." When he held it above his eyes, he claimed, "It's eyebrows." Finally, he tried to twirl it like a baton.

Erik seemed unusually interested in words. When examining a humidifier in Grandma's house he asked what it was for and how it worked. Still puzzled when he peered inside, he asked, "Did my Daddy light the fire in the humidifier?" Once he said, "When I get covered with dirt, I'm dirty. When I spill my milk, I'm milky. When I play in the sandbox, I get sandy. When I roll on the lawn do I get lawny?" Another time he asked his mother if she razed her legs with a razor. As he got older he decided that a boy who plays soccer is a soccerist.

In the months before his brother was born, Erik knew that the baby was in his mother's tummy. He heard the heartbeat on the stethoscope in the doctor's office. When Kay came home with the new baby, Erik was given a boy doll that was anatomically correct. He would hug the doll and say, "I love my brudder."

At age 4, Erik loved to get presents. He was very particular about picking up the wrappings and putting them in the wastebasket. One gift, a Hop-it, frustrated him because he couldn't get the coordination to put both feet on it and walk as on low stilts. A fishing net he enjoyed because he could catch frogs in it. At this age, he was able to converse and relate details of his recent trip to Magic Mountain. His voice was often very loud. He had to be reminded to use his "inside voice" in the house.

For Hallowe'en of 1979 Erik dressed as the HULK and frightened his little brother. In toy stores, Erik was attracted to all games and toys that are related to monsters. At home he loved television but was very considerate about early morning sound. When he had Darlene, a teenager, for a babysitter he was so considerate he didn't wake her until it was too late for his ride to nursery school.

When his parents were due to arrive home from their trip, I suggested we write a Welcome Home sign for them. Instead he cut out a picture for them and wanted to write it himself saying, "Hello Mommy and Dad" not Daddy.

For one trip to say overnight at my house, Erik packed his own bag which he called his Brucecase. He remembered to pack everything except his pajamas. It was about this time that he declared that he did not want to be kissed. Grandma Anderson said she was going to kiss him anyway. Grandma Wilkin started blowing kisses to him.