The King of All NJ Monthly Letters To The Editor

New Jersey Monthly Magazine - February 2010 - On The Stands Now!



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Rooooots Bloody Rooooots!

No Sign of Yesterday - A Tribute to My Dad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R31_svOsglQ

B. Bruce Anderson (1946-2003) R.I.P.

Bio

A Taxi Driver named Travis Bickle bought the guns he used to save a Iris from a life of child prostitution on June 9, 1972. Three years later, during the first week of June, 1975, Ted Bundy visited his girlfriend Meg and her young daughter for the last time. Bundy would kill again - many times, unfortuanately - but that young girl never saw him again after the first week of June, 1975. That week was perhaps the last time Ted Bundy spent any happy moments with a family. God willed it so.¹

That Monday, exactly three years after Travis Bickle, put his money down; exactly three years after God's Lonely Man turned his will and his life over to the care of God as he understood Him; exactly three years after the Taxi Driver began preparing his mind and body for his mission; exactly three years later, God went to work. Erik B. Anderson was born on June 9, 1975.

Erik's due date was July 5, 1975. He could have been born on the Fourth of July, but Mrs. Anderson developed toxemia, which led to pre-eclampsia on June 9th. She was taken to Morristown Memorial Hospital in Northern New Jersey. The doctors there needed to give Erik medicine to counteract the anti-seizure medication they gave his mother. In order to do so, the doctors shaved Erik's head in a mohawk.

Mr. Anderson's oldest known ancestor was Stephanus Terhune. Sheriff Terhune, as he was known, was the last Sheriff of the British Colony of New Jersey. He was removed from office on  July 4, 1776. There was a trial in 1777. It is not yet known to Erik what the outcome of that trial was. What is known is that his oldest ancestor had the same job as the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Erik's paternal grandfather, Blaine Ellsworth Anderson,  worked for gold magnate Charles Engelhard, Jr. in 1955. A little known but extremely influential businessman in three financial capitals², the Harvard Crimson Newspapter calls Engelhard the 'number one American corporate sponsor of the Apartheid regime." Charlie Engelhard's eccentric behavior was the inspiration for Ian Fleming's most notorious villain "Goldfinger":

Blaine supported Charlie Engelhard's campaign to unseat Malcolm Forbes from the New Jersey State Senate Seat in the battle of the billionaires of 1955 because Engelhard promised to save their neighborhood from being turned into a reservoir. Engelhard promised Erik's nine year old father Bruce a ride in a fancy car. The boy waited on the front steps, but the rich man never showed up. Blaine put his heart and his soul into that campaign. After they lost, all he got out of it was a fancy crystal ashtray. Blaine drank himself to death eight years later. It was after this event that Marion Vollum Anderson became the first Queen of Funny Faces:

Erik knows a lot about villains. He also knows a lot about heroes.

Coming Soon: Biographical Sketch of B. Bruce Anderson

The B. Bruce Anderson Memorial Flag can be found in Palmer Park in Long Valley, near the High School.

Erik's favorite character on television growing up on top of Schooley's Mountain was "Howling Mad" Murdock on the A-Team. He dreamed of running away to Hollywood when he was young to join the cast. He wanted to help people alongside Hannibal and B.A. Barracus. He created a character for himself as Amy's adolescent son. Erik organized a gang of boys on the playground that he called the A-team. The fights he had with these boys were legendary.

At the Flocktown Elementary School, Mr. Anderson was chosen to attend an acting workshop in the fourth grade. He was given the part of  Snidely Whiplash. He was told to put on a mustache and pound money into his hand. When he got onstage, a female student was lying on the ground below him while a train was coming toward the camera on the overhead projector behind them. When the entire auditorium erupted into a chorus of "Boos!" and "Hisses!", Mr. Anderson didn't even understand what was happenning. It frightened him very much; but now he can enjoy remembering the profound impact he had on the crowd.

As a Freshman in Gill/St. Bernard's High School in 1989, Mr. Gene D'Onofrio cast Mr.Anderson as the "insane priest" in Marat/Sade. In the yearbook Mr. D'onofrio said he is very proud of his son, Vincent Philip D'Onofrio, the award winning actor who played the most disturbed character in cinematic history: Leonard "Private Pyle" Lawrence in Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket.

As the insane priest, Mr. Anderson sniveled and coughed and "greeted the community" as a patient in a French Insane Asylum after the Revolution. It was a play within a play, directed by the Marquis De Sade. Mr. Anderson didn't even know what the word Sadism meant, but he did as he was told. He said Satan's Prayer in front of all of his friends, their parents and the faculty of the school. His character attempted to sexually assault the daughter of Coulmier, the director of the asylum. This was Mr. D'Onofrio's idea.. Then he was crucified by the nurse. He peeled himself off the cross and caused more mayhem. It was quite a performance. Erik liked playing that part, but there was a backlash.

In the past twenty years, Mr. Anderson has suffered the whips and scorns of time. He has taken classes and workshops at Centenary College and the Simon Studio but he has not been in any productions. His father's death in 2003 was hard. Erik's life story is filled with tragedy. It is safe to say, he can use his painful life experience to perform Hamlet better than anyone ever.

Other highlights of Mr. Anderson's professional career include:

• Presenting a Paper About Avante-Garde Musician John Zorn and Postmodernism to the Eastern Sociological Society as an Undergraduate in 1995.
• Working as a Public Relations Intern and Museum Tour Guide At The Chester County Historical Society in Southeast Pennsylvania.
• Asking William F. Buckley, Jr. For His Stance On An Environmental Issue in 1996 and Receiving The Answer: "The world is a giant ashtray that we put things into."
• Lobbying all over Washington D.C. with the Western Ancient Forest Campaign.
• Helping Ann Rule "The Best True Crime Writer of All Time" Fight Off Some Malicious Spammers When He Was a Technical Support Rep At a Barnesandnoble.com Call Center.
• Playing Bass In a Heavy Metal Band
•  Singing Rock and Punk Songs at Open Mic Nights Around Northwest New Jersey
• Writing Poetry, Essays, Letters to the Editor
• Editing Music Videos Using Windows Movie Maker
• Mastering The Art of Cleaning Toilets at Quick Chek

He is currently working on obtaining a pardon for James Titus, an innocent Hackettstown man convicted of murder in 1886. He has been on the radio and the newspaper about it. He has spoken to ofiicials in the State Parole Board and the Governor's Counsel's office. No one has ever gotten a posthumous pardon in New Jersey before. It sounds like it's going to happen. Read all about it at FreeJamesTitus.Blogspot.Com

Mr. Anderson usually loathes being called Mr. Anderson. Most people who call him that have tried to scare him like the villain in the Matrix by calling him "Mr. Anderson". He prefers that people talk to him the way Mr. Ward or Mayor Tillman speak to Agent Rupert Anderson in Mississippi Burning. Example:

"You know what, Mr. Anderson? You're startin' to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin." -R. Lee Ermey, as Mayor Tillman.

Erik Blaine Anderson was born to act. When the King of Funny Faces acts, he changes the world. Acting is not pretending. Acting is taking action. You will not regret it if you hire Mr. Anderson for any job that requires getting things done.

If you are interested in learning more about Erik B. Anderson, the King of Funny Faces, read his blog:

TheKingofFunnyFaces.BlogSpot.Com

He has another personal blog called The Tragedy of Erik, The Prince of Funny Faces. It tells the story of how he became the King of Funny Faces.

Comments are encouraged.

¹Rule, Ann. The Stranger Beside Me: Ted Bundy, The Shocking Inside Story (Revised and Updated Edition). New York: Signet, 2001 - p165
²Forbes Magazine, August 1st, 1965

Erik's Early Childhood

Erik Blaine Anderson
by Mary Wilkin (Grandma)

The first child of Kay and Bruce Anderson, the first grandchild of Marion Anderson and Mary Wilkin, Erik was born prematurely on June 9, 1975 in Morristown Memorial Hospital. The excitement of his birth turned to anxiety as Kay had a convulsion in the hospital and was diagnosed as having toxemia. No one knows what cause this condition but the baby must be delivered immediately. A Caesarian operation was performed and the 5 lb. 4 oz. boy was put in an incubator. He was only 3 weeks early. His mother, however, was kept highly sedated with only her husband being allowed to see her. He was only 3 weeks early. His mother, however, was kept highly sedated with only her husband being allowed to see her. After a couple of days Kay was allowed to see her baby but not to hold him. We later learned that this was because they thought she might have another seizure and drop the child. Her dream of nursing the baby was denied, but the family of 3 eventually returned to their home at Quakerchurch Rd. in Randolph, N.J. with a healthy, thriving son.






Erik was the joy of the family. Round face, big brown eyes and chubby, rosy cheeks make him a delight to look at or hold. He was content in his swing or on the floor on the bright quilt his Aunt Joan (Wilkin) had made for him. Both Grandmas visited often and took frequent pictures of his various stages of development. Baby-sitting was their pleasure.

Erik sat up alone at 8 months, walked alone at 15 months. His first method of walking was his monster stride. He would put both arms straight out in front of him for balance and cross a room. In his high chair he would pick up Cheerios one by one from the tray while waiting for the rest of the meal. When the food arrived, he stuffed his face putting more in his mouth before he had swallowed the first bite. Kay frequently said "Manners don't count until you're 3."





Climbing out of the crib or playpen was a trick he learned from another toddler in Vermont where the family had visited in August '77. Skipping naps began about the same time at 2 years and 2 months. A month later on a long car trip to Cape Cod, Erik could identify most letters on a sign. When one was pointed out to him he would say, "That's an S or that's a C." While the car was stopped at one crossroad he said, "That's S-T-O-P --- Pots." Indoors adults would point to letters in the headlines and he would name each letter. Once his Daddy pointed to a quotation mark. Erik looked at the beginning and end quotes and said, "That's two sixes and two nines."

At home Erik knew how to turn on the radio for Grandma when she couldn't figure it out. He almost locked Grandma out of the car when she was scraping snow off the windows and he was inside pushing buttons. His first set of blocks he threw but he soon learned to build towers and knock them down. When no blocks were available at a time instead of knocking them down. After learning to make choo-choo trains of blocks Erik made choo-choos of any three items he encountered on a table or the floor.

In November 1977, Erik showed his imagination in a restaurant when he took a drinking straw and held it like a pencil and said, "I'm writing." Next he put the straw across his upper lip and said, "It's a mustache." When he held it above his eyes, he claimed, "It's eyebrows." Finally, he tried to twirl it like a baton.





Erik seemed unusually interested in words. When examining a humidifier in Grandma's house he asked what it was for and how it worked. Still puzzled when he peered inside, he asked, "Did my Daddy light the fire in the humidifier?" Once he said, "When I get covered with dirt, I'm dirty. When I spill my milk, I'm milky. When I play in the sandbox, I get sandy. When I roll on the lawn do I get lawny?" Another time he asked his mother if she razed her legs with a razor. As he got older he decided that a boy who plays soccer is a soccerist.

In the months before his brother was born, Erik knew that the baby was in his mother's tummy. He heard the heartbeat on the stethoscope in the doctor's office. When Kay came home with the new baby, Erik was given a boy doll that was anatomically correct. He would hug the doll and say, "I love my brudder."





At age 4, Erik loved to get presents. He was very particular about picking up the wrappings and putting them in the wastebasket. One gift, a Hop-it, frustrated him because he couldn't get the coordination to put both feet on it and walk as on low stilts. A fishing net he enjoyed because he could catch frogs in it. At this age, he was able to converse and relate details of his recent trip to Magic Mountain. His voice was often very loud. He had to be reminded to use his "inside voice" in the house.





For Hallowe'en of 1979 Erik dressed as the HULK and frightened his little brother. In toy stores, Erik was attracted to all games and toys that are related to monsters. At home he loved television but was very considerate about early morning sound. When he had Darlene, a teenager, for a babysitter he was so considerate he didn't wake her until it was too late for his ride to nursery school.

When his parents were due to arrive home from their trip, I suggested we write a Welcome Home sign for them. Instead he cut out a picture for them and wanted to write it himself saying, "Hello Mommy and Dad" not Daddy.

For one trip to say overnight at my house, Erik packed his own bag which he called his Brucecase. He remembered to pack everything except his pajamas. It was about this time that he declared that he did not want to be kissed. Grandma Anderson said she was going to kiss him anyway. Grandma Wilkin started blowing kisses to him.